The 5 Guiding Fears in Career Change: Your Teacher, Not Your Enemy
Overcoming Career Transition Fears: What Your Anxiety Is Really Telling You About Making a Mid-Career Change
It's 3pm on a sunny Friday, and Karen pinged you on Slack. "Hey!" Not you again, Karen! You already know what's about to happen: Karen will ask you for a "quick favor," which turns into spending 3 hours reviewing a PowerPoint presentation that no one will look at. In the meantime, the sun goes down and with it the good mood you hoped to carry into the weekend.
"It's time I change jobs. I want to do something that motivates me, that makes me happy. I want to resign."
You daydream about it for the entire weekend, but come Monday, you're not so sure anymore. Something has been telling you that perhaps you over reacted, that maybe going through all that trouble of changing job is not really worth it.
Career transitioning, especially mid-life—once you have a mortgage, a family, and life standards, and can no longer rely (or perhaps like me, never could) on parents handing you that extra pocket money—can be a very scary and confrontational process.
And don't get me wrong—these fears have a good reason to exist. They show you what you need to focus on to be successful. What you need to put extra care into, ask for support with, and yes—work on yourself—to successfully move to a career that FINALLY feels more like you.
Also, fears are there to remind us of the risks. To remind us what we need to keep an eye on, to do a quick (or very thorough) assessment of whether we can afford the risk.
Because fears always involve the possibility of the worst-case scenario. Too bad that fears forget to include the other side of the coin when flashing through your mind and body. They forget to present you with the best-case scenario.
Why do we experience fear?
Before we dive into the specific fears, let's understand what's happening in your nervous system. When you contemplate leaving your secure job, your brain's ancient survival mechanism—the amygdala—rings the alarm. Fight or flight or freeze, baby.
This primitive part of your brain can't distinguish between a hungry tiger and career uncertainty. Both register as threats to your survival (that’s wild, I know!).
Your nervous system gets flooded with stress hormones, your mind spirals to worst-case scenarios, and suddenly, that job that we were so done with doesn’t seem so bad anymore. It’s not you—it's neuroscience.
But you are smarter than your amygdala. You have a 4th choice, apart the fight or flight or freeze. You can take a deep breath and shift perspective. You have a brain. Use it fully!
The 5 Core Fears That Show Up in Career Transition
There are 5 main fears involved when thinking about career transitioning:
Fear of Financial Instability
Fear of the Unknown
Fear of Judgment
Fear of Failure
Fear of Not Being Good Enough
Let’s look at each one by one.
1. Fear of Financial Instability
"What if I waste all my savings? What if I end up living under a bridge?"
The OG fear for most, but especially for my dear corporate people. When you've been sitting on a comfortable, stable salary for quite some time, it's hard to imagine life without it. What we forget, however, is that any financial instability won't be forever. You won't forever have a lower or unstable income.
A dear friend told me once, when I was debating leaving my job because "what if I run out of money": "You can't lose this game."
What she meant was that my worst-case scenario (ending up totally broke) simply couldn't happen. Because I wouldn't let myself go there. If I crossed the threshold of how much savings I was willing to invest in my career transition before being able to make decent income, I would find myself a temporary job—just to cover costs. I would cut back on holidays and dinners out. Worst case scenario, I would sublet my apartment and move back to my parents for some time (here I met my scary line).
Because realistically, how bad do things have to get that I can't find a way, ANY way, to simply cover my basic costs while I build my new career?
What this fear is really teaching you: You value security and need a financial plan to support you during the process. Fear wants you to look at your costs, define your non-negotiables, and be smart about your approach.
The flip: Instead of avoiding the transition because of the slim chance your worst-case scenario will happen, create a plan. Explore different strategies to maintain some stability and identify the maximum you're willing to invest before you need to pivot. Then reduce that number by a few months' buffer. Give yourself breathing room—don't make things harder than they need to be. Then take the leap! And do yourself a favor: don't obsess over the numbers throughout the process. Trust yourself and the work you put in it.
2. Fear of the Unknown
"What if I don't know what I really want? What if there's nothing out there that actually excites me?"
This is probably the biggest barrier to leaving. While we know what we don't want, we struggle with knowing what we DO want. So we spend time fantasizing about leaving jobs we hate, but we can't picture what the future will look like.
And human beings HATE not knowing what the future holds.
Maybe you don't have a passion or a business idea. Maybe you're even struggling to identify what skills or interests you bring to the table. When you don't know these things, how can you possibly change careers?
Or perhaps you know what you like to do—you know what skills you have and what you'd like to pursue. But you're missing the bridge: how does that translate into an actual job? You don't know what the job title would be or how to start putting your ideas into practice.
When I was going through this process, I remember knowing I wanted to work with people, to be of service, helping people feel better (whatever that meant). The only thing that came to mind was becoming a yoga teacher. But the more I tried to push that direction, the clearer it became that it wasn't the right path. (Here I learned that not everything we love has to become a career!) It took months of patience and trust—plus a 10-day silent meditation retreat (though I'm sure you can skip that)—to discover that coaching was my path.
What this fear is really teaching you: You need clues, signs pointing toward where to move next. Jumping into the unknown doesn't work for you. This fear is asking you to spend time understanding your interests and values, and really: to dream!
The flip: Rather than staying in that crappy comfort zone, it's time to step out and explore. What activities energize you? What brings you joy? What legacy do you want to leave? What do you want to be remembered for? Get creative with your life—and that doesn't mean turning your living room into an art studio or suddenly taking up songwriting. It means choosing curiosity over fear of discovery. I always recommend Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way" as a powerful guide for discovering your passions and living more creatively.
3. Fear of Judgment
"What will people think? Will this make me look like a fool?"
When the idea of becoming a coach first came to me, it hit me in a place deep inside where I knew this was the right path. It felt good—that kind of good where your whole body comes alive and feels electrified. Then my brain caught up, and it was like the power was turned off.
I despised the word "coach." Despite having received coaching myself and witnessed the positive change it could bring, part of me cringed at the idea of calling myself one. It took me quite some time to come to terms with it.
Because I realized my problem wasn't with what a coach actually does, but with the perception of it. What makes you entitled to think you can help people feel better? In short: I was judging myself.
In fact, at no point did I actually encounter someone who judged me. Instead, I had friends and ex-colleagues congratulating me for having the courage to try something new, excited about the path I was walking. More and more people told me, "I'm not surprised—this fits youyou’re your skills perfectly."
The harshest judge was staring back at me in the mirror.
What this fear is really teaching you: You need external validation, and while it doesn't feel good to admit that, it's perfectly human. You require a support system of friends, family, and colleagues who believe in you and your journey.
The flip: Look at yourself in the mirror and ask: Who's really doing the judging here? Is it others, or yourself? If you're taking a path that's radically different from those around you, remember they might not be able to understand your choice. Sometimes the people who judge are simply reflecting their own unexpressed desires. Focus on finding your people—those who've walked similar paths or who celebrate courage over conformity.
4. Fear of Failure
“What if it doesn’t work out? What if I have to come back crawling?"
This one is a nasty one. We've been conditioned to avoid failure at all costs, but what we haven't been told is that there's no such thing as failure if we view every experience as a learning opportunity.
I remember watching a sports interview some time ago when a journalist asked a basketball player how he felt about "failing" another season. The player looked puzzled and asked, "Why failure?" The journalist replied, "Well, you didn't win the championship. Not this year, not last year."
The player responded (showing a far greater coolness than most people would do): "If you don't get a promotion this year, do you consider that you've failed? If you don't win that award, is it a failure?"
When did trying and not reaching our hoped-for result become equal to failure?
Words have tremendous power over us. Misusing them can damage us greatly. If your best friend tried something but didn't achieve the results they hoped for, would you tell them they failed? Or would you say, "I'm proud of you for trying. I'm sure you learned something valuable for next time"?
What this fear is really teaching you: Achievement matters to you. You're ambitious and want your time used wisely. You don't want to invest energy in something that leads nowhere—and that's completely fine.
The flip: Reframe the story in your head. Instead of "What if I fail?" ask "What will I learn for next time?" Remember, there's always risk when trying something new and different, when you're walking the unbeaten path. But don't forget—the view is far more gorgeous when you're watching it from the mountaintop instead of base camp.
5. Fear of Not Being Good Enough
"What if I'm not actually as talented as I think? What if I'm just delusional?"
This is such a trendy fear, perfectly suited to our modern times. When we spend hours each day scrolling through what others are doing—whether on Instagram, LinkedIn, or any social platform of your choice—we unconsciously create standards for how things should be and compare ourselves with others. How they look, how they communicate, what they accomplish.
I battle with this fear almost every day. When my LinkedIn feed is full of coaches and professionals receiving thousands of likes and comments on their posts, while mine struggle to get past a dozen, I start doubting myself. "What am I doing wrong? Maybe I should quit."
Then I remember that these people have been in business for years, decades even. My problem isn't that I'm not good enough—it's that I'm comparing myself with players from another league. And they too, many moons ago, started exactly where I am right now.
What this fear is really teaching you: You care about doing good and meaningful work. This fear is asking you to be patient and grow into that person, rather than expecting to transform overnight.
The flip: Recognize that this feeling means you're expanding, stepping out of your comfort zone. Rather than comparing yourself to that person, ask: What can you learn from them? What are they doing well that you wish you could do too? Then go do it.
My Fear Approach for Career Transition
Rather than waiting for fear to disappear (because spoiler: it won't), learn to use it as a teacher. Here's how:
Listen to what your fears are asking for. Instead of pushing them away, get curious. Ask them “what do you want?” and they will tell you they want you to been financially secure. Ask them “what do you need?” and they will tell you they need you to take calculate steps and define a plan.
Start small & smart. You don't have to quit your job tomorrow to begin transitioning. Go to a weekend yoga retreat, before taking a month off to go to India to become a yoga teacher. Reach out to someone that is walking that path, rather than watching YouTube How-To videos.
Build your transition gradually. Most successful career transitions takes time to go through. Give yourself the space and time to make it happen without panicking. Build a plan aligned with your real situation. There is no perfect plan, just your own.
Create support systems. Talk to your people about your fears. Find someone who can listen to you, hold space while you let all your worst case scenario out and that won’t judge you. A fear shared is a fear halved.
Your New Relationship with Fear
Remember: Fear is your teacher, not your enemy. It shows you what you need to focus on to make your career change happen, not what you need to avoid.
Every fear you've felt about changing careers is actually showing you something important:
Your financial fear? It's showing you that you value security, so plan wisely.
Your fear of the unknown? It's asking you to get curious, to lead a creative life.
Your fear of judgment? It's telling you to find your people and stop judging yourself so harshly.
Your fear of failure? It's asking you to let go of the idea of failure and reframe it as a learning opportunity.
Your fear of not being good enough? It's confirming you care about meaningful work and are stepping out of your comfort zone.
The biggest risk isn't that your career transition might not work out exactly as planned. The biggest risk is staying somewhere that you know it’s killing you, until you wake up one morning and didn't recognize the person in the mirror (thanks to Kurt Vile for the lyrics).
Your fears are teachers, not enemies. It’s time to learn the lessons.
Ready to transform your relationship with fear and finally build a career that excites you? Let's talk about how coaching with me can help you navigate this transition with courage.
